… when charities are begging for our hard-earned dollars, and you wonder what some of them are thinking. A few years back, I remember a poster for food pantries plastered all over the workplace, talking about how many families are going hungry right here in our city. I couldn’t tell if they were being ironic or trying to undermine their own campaign, because the photo was of a very overweight woman and her two chunky kids posing with an anorexic-looking news anchor, and you couldn't help thinking, “Wait… which ones are the starving ones?”
Then there are the Adopt-A-Family charities. We have two families adopted here at work, and one of them – let’s call them the Harther family – asked for completely appropriate things. Sid Harther said his children would like clothes and simple, age-appropriate toys, and the family could use cooking ware and G-rated movies. Sounds wonderful! I’d be happy to help this family have a delightful Christmas!
Then there is the other family, let’s call them the Thoosters. Sarah Thooster’s children want expensive video games and MP3 players… whuh? Why should I give them money to have better stuff than I own? Aren’t they asking for our help because they are poor? And yet they already own the expensive video system to play these games on? Most disturbingly, the four-year-old boy wants sexy cologne and CDs of heavy metal bands from the 80’s. ‘Scuze me? Shouldn’t this kid be avoiding baths to the best of his ability and listening to inane children’s records? Doesn’t he want any toys? Is there any possibility these things are actually desired by Sarah Thooster’s live-in boyfriend, who is listed as if he is a child (although from his birthdate I can see he is older than I am!) and who wants leather gloves? And should you really be using a charity to get your own adult wishes when it is supposed to be to help your children have a Merry Christmas? You can buy your own leather gloves, expensive video games, sexy cologne, and heavy metal CDs, Sarah Thooster’s dude. (Or should I say dud?)
Disclaimer: the names of the characters in this story do not imply any endorsement or rejection of any particular religion; in fact, I would probably rather be Zoroastrian than Buddhist, if those were my only two choices. The whole monotheism bit, and all that. Although why their God is named after a car (Ahura Mazda) is beyond me, since Zoroastrianism predates automobiles by many millennia.
Famous Hat
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2 comments:
I quit giving to charities when I realized that rockstar taylor's dirt poor classmates had more swag and better swag than we do and dissing her for it. None of MY money is going to families like this. A book or a CD is fine, a blackberry is not
This is what I'm saying - I grew up poor, and we had books. BOOKS, people. And an ancient black-and-white TV. We didn't have an Atari or anything like that.
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