I have indeed caught Travalon's cold, and yesterday I worked from home and signed off at two to rest. Today I was scheduled to work from home anyway, and I managed to work the whole day. Obviously I have nothing exciting to say about my life when I've just been sitting at home sick, but in my feverish state the other night I thought about writing a "do-it-yourself" movie review. Now I can't remember what it was going to say, but I could write a "do-it-yourself" football color commentary. The stuff the professional color commentators say is so inane, how could this be worse? I was inspired when one of them quoted Brady as saying he had to play "situational football" in a certain situation. Now how does that even make any sense? Isn't all football situational? Maybe the situation is third down and twelve, or maybe it's fourth down and inches, or maybe it's your basic first and ten. Or second and goal. The point is, every down is a situation, so football players always have to play "situational football." Anyway, here is a "choose your own stupid saying" football commentary:
In this situation/stadium/dimension, you have to play situational football/the game to win/the lottery. Now what the quarterback/running back/baby back is going to do here is try to pass/run/deflate the ball so that they can score a touchdown/stick the landing/make the bookies happy. The quarterback is going to give the hard count/the soft count/the Count of Monte Cristo in order to make the defense jump offsides/jump in the line/jump around so he can draw a penalty/draw the drapes/draw a cartoon of Tom Brady playing badminton. In the end both teams want to score more points/score some dank bud/write a movie score so they can win the game/game the system/go to Disneyland. And that is what football, which is neither played with a round ball nor with the foot, is all about!
Famous Hat
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