Description: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokellogscrispiosis, or “Cereal Lung,” was an idea first advanced in June 2010 during a discussion of generic cereals that came in bags. As these were enormous ten-pound bags, quite a bit of the product would become pulverized and was then easily inhaled. It was posited that, as these generic cereals, such as “Tooty Frootles,” tended to come in highly unnatural colors, a pattern of coloration would become evident during scans of infected lungs.
Figure 1: Larry the Lung demonstrates a pair of healthy, bright-eyed lungs. 
Figure 2: Tooty Frootles(photo credit: unknown; stolen off internet)
Figure 3: Cereal Lung
(photo credit: Rahim Rizi, PhD, University of Pennsylvania Medical School)
Figure 4: Breakdown of infectionPrognosis and treatment: There is no known treatment for Cereal Lung at this time. The best method of prevention is avoiding cereal in bags, cereal in unnatural hues, and especially cereal in unnatural hues that come in bags. The prognosis depends upon exposure. Lengthy exposure to pulverized Tooty Frootles inevitably leads to COPD, or Cereal Out Probiscus Disease, in which the victim tends to cough sweet, artificially-flavored powder out of the nasal passages, and bright colors can be detected in the sputum and the mucus. The course of the disease can often be reversed by a complete dietary overhaul, in which all cereals consumed are brown and taste like cardboard.
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3 comments:
Some individuals (such as trademark attorneys) might point out that the scientific term for "cereal lung" would appear to have "kellog" as one of it's components, even though the primary cereal noted here is a General Mills, and not a "Kellog's" product. This usage, if it were not totally in the mind of the reader, would be in the time-honored American tradition of miss-using brand names and trade marks as generic terms, such as often is done with brand names such as Xerox, Kleenex, and, in Texas, "Coke." Given that cereal lung is a much older phenomenon than "Tootie Frooties," it is my contention that the disease originated when a certain midwestern family nearer the turn of the last century decided to consolidate its several boxes of Rice Krispies by putting them all in one large container normally intended to hold flour, and wound up generating cereal dust.
So then how would Lucky Charms fit into all this since it has marshmallows
Pink hearts, yellow moons, green alveolae. (Direct quote from Richard Bonomo)
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