Ode to a Smart Phone

Travalon continues to have problems with his phone. He regularly “butt-dials” me, but this morning his phone called me five times in rapid succession, and when I answered, all I could hear was the sound of him walking. I finally didn’t accept a call, and then I got another one that went straight to voicemail. Hopefully this doesn’t mean I will never get another call from him – does anyone know? Richard Bonomo? I didn’t mean to put my own husband on the “no call” list! It seems to me this episode is deserving of a poem, and so I present an ode to a smart phone:

I’m so smart, I can call your wife

Even if you never asked me to.

I can text your pal a bunch of emojis

That with your state having nothing to do.

I like this staring one – let’s use that

Again and again and again and again.

Then I’ll set your alarm to go off

At six, even if you can sleep till ten.

Let me liven up your contacts’ names;

Why list “Famous” for your wife

When she can be “Famous Table Tennis”?

See how I can add zest to your life?

When a friend asks you where you’re at

And you send him a text in reply,

Let me change it to “In a meeting”

Just so he can wonder why.

Oh sure, I can search the internet for you

And do all kinds of handy stuff,

But a smart phone can also think for itself

If it feels your life isn’t interesting enough.

Famous Hat