Living Down to Expectations

 

On social media I see one of my far-right leaning acquaintances is talking up a priest who argues that women can't be priests because we aren't straightforward and don't say what we really mean. I think there are legitimate arguments for keeping an all-male priesthood, but this one is a total Catch-22. As a woman who is naturally on the more straightforward side, I have been told time and time again that I have to modulate my responses, because I'm too blunt, which makes me "mean" and "nasty." Now there are times I can actually be mean and nasty, but not in a work environment. What I'm referring to are emails where I ask someone to do something and don't couch it in a bunch of florid language about how wonderful they are first. So over time I have gotten less direct and more roundabout in my approach, especially with male colleagues, since they seem to be the ones who complain more... and then I'm told my gender is terrible because we aren't straightforward after being told for years that someone of my gender shouldn't be straightforward because that's terrible. You can't win for losing when you're a woman. And I'll bet no man who was deep in thought was ever told to "Smile!" or told he has a face referred to with a sexist slur. (That's right, there's no male equivalent of "Resting B-tch Face" because a man who is deep in thought is allowed to look pensive.) I can't speak from personal experience, but I wouldn't be surprised if nonwhite people also have this problem - you can't be direct when speaking to a white male, because they're considered above you in rank for some reason, and then you're told that your kind is always so obfuscating and never say exactly what you mean. How about everyone is just allowed to say what they mean without a bunch of preamble? Or if you are going to request this preamble, men, then don't throw it back in our faces. Really, you're like some fifth-grade bully who pushes a smaller kid into the mud and then mocks them for being covered with mud. Grow the F up.

Famous Hat