Driving to Work

 

Yesterday was not a particularly noteworthy day until the evening, when the Packers actually beat another team! It was the Rams, who are the defending Super Bowl champions, but you wouldn't know it because they stink this year, even more than the Packers. This means our playoff hopes live to see another day, but the day they die will probably be Christmas, because that is when we play the Dolphins, who are having a stellar year, in Miami. Maybe Travalon and I should have tried to get tickets, because while I don't relish watching the Packers lose live, I would love a trip to Miami for Christmas.

Today was more noteworthy because I drove to work. The parking lot right next to the Killer Building said it was "full," which seems inconceivable when nobody is on campus right now. Fortunately I had a Plan B and that panned out, because I had no Plan C. (Not totally true, but Plan C would have involved a long walk.) The reason I drove was because I was going to a retirement party on the other side of campus, so I drove to that building and parked, and then right after the really fun retirement party I drove to the dentist's office. From there I drove to Adoration, and I got there a little early, so I went to Little Luxuries to find gifts for my coworkers. I also found a really cute stuffed moon, so I got that. There was still a little time before my adoration hour, so I went into the library, and the weird little stuffed "mer-cat" that has been there for ages has been moved to another spot, as if it was in the way. I felt bad for it, and it has grown on me over time. It must be abandoned if nobody has come back for it by now, so I brought it home too. Here they are.

Then this evening when I did DuoLingo, I got this sticker!

Boy, that's a lot of time messing around in Irish and French, and I'm still not fluent in either one.

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Having a "Bad at Everything" Day

Yesterday was kind of a bummer day for me. A cleaning team came to clean my old condo, and they thought it was the messiest place they had ever seen. Now I am not a neat freak, but surely I am not the messiest person ever…? But that’s what got me down – maybe I am! Then a coworker gave me a stern talking-to about my parking job. See, when the person I replaced retired, she left me her parking spot under the building, which is wonderful because Erin Caitlin O’Honda is protected from the elements. However, the parking spaces under the building seem narrower than the ones in the lot, where I had been parking, and I was right on the line. Technically I was still in my space, but he had a point, that I hadn’t left him much room. So then I was feeling really down, like I am the world’s worst housekeeper and car parker… and then the cleaning crew said they found mold in my old condo, so now instead of just getting it painted and recarpeted, I have to do something about that potential health hazard. And here I’d thought the condo might be ready for sale by the end of the month! Fortunately Slow Food was fun; one of the regulars brought her husband, who is a retired professor of theater, and both Rich and Luxuli were able to make it. Afterwards the three of us stopped briefly at a coffeehouse, so I brought Travalon a cookie from there to apologize for abandoning him for so long. Tonight I’m coming home late again because of Irish class, so add Wife to the category of things I am subpar at. At least I am better than average at learning Irish, or so they told me last week. But of course I failed to study since then…

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True Adventure: Catechism Captive!

At my church (let's call it Our Lady of Perpetual Sobriety), we have a small parking lot that is always being used by non-church folks (or, as we refer to them, poachers). I first ran into this problem one year on Ash Wednesday, when the parking lot was so crowded that I had to park someone in, figuring I would run right out the moment Mass was over and release whoever it was. To my surprise, three people were already standing by the car when I dashed out of Our Lady of Perpetual Sobriety (OLPS) the moment the priest gave the final blessing. How did they beat me out here? I wondered, failing to notice that they did not have ashen crosses on their foreheads. One man was very annoyed and said to me, "Is this your car?" I said yes, sorry, I got out the moment Mass was over. (I couldn't understand why he was so annoyed, since it had JUST gotten over.) He said to me, "Who the *@$# parks likes that?" and I said, "You know, sir, maybe you should consider giving up being a jerk for Lent!" His two friends laughed, and to my surprise so did my friends when I told them this story. They were the ones who first clued me in about the fact that I had undoubtedly parked in a poacher.

Since that day, I have been very protective about OLPS's parking lot and have chased many a poacher away. (My favorite Mary is Our Lady of Guadalupe, who looks like she could kick your @$$, and I'm sure you've realized by now why that is!) So this morning I was railroaded into teaching catechism for Richard Bonomo, who is presently on a plane to Japan, although many other people were available. I regularly taught for a number of years at OLPS but for the last two years I've been enjoying sleeping in. So this morning I dragged myself out of bed, drove through a snowstorm, and was peeved to find the OLPS parking lot completely full. On a Saturday morning?!? I spotted a guy who was clearly a slacker, with an African drum slung over his back, and I asked if he were there for church business. He replied that he was there for parking business, since it was a public parking lot, so I pointed to the sign that clearly stated it was only for people on official OLPS business and reiterated my question: "Are you here to go to church or to teach catechism or something?" He wanted to know if he should move, so I said yes, unless he was planning to teach. He told me his father was a preacher so he could do it, although he was not Catholic. So I told him he'd better.

When I came into the school building of OLPS, where we teach small Mexican children to be good Christians, the DRE told me that another regular teacher had not shown up, so he was putting that class in with Mr. Bonomo's. Nothing like having 23 small bilingual children staring at you! But to my surprise, my hostage did show up to teach catechism, and he wasn't half bad! The DRE took me aside and asked who he was, so I explained that this was his penance for poaching in our parking lot. Captive Catechist (Mr. CC) told the children the most whacked-out version of the Temptation in the Garden that I'd ever heard, but since it was basically correct, I let him do it. I was pleasantly surprised to find out he knew some Spanish (as do I) so the small Mexican children realized they couldn't pull anything over on us. One boy also has Downe's Syndrome and was bouncing all over, but Mr. CC got him engaged with a beach ball globe. He literally had the whole world in his hands! The other kids enjoyed playing on the drum, and then we took them over to the church, which somehow survived the post-Vatican II wreckovation that ruined so many other churches. Mr. CC's breath was taken away.

"This place is gorgeous!" he said in amazement. (The small Mexican kids and I were more used to OLPS's incredible beauty, since we get to see it at least once a week.) Then we sang some Advent and Christmas songs while Mr. CC played his drum and the Downe's Syndrome kid played with the whole world. We prayed a decade of the Rosary, went back to the classroom, and played Catechism Trivia and Catechism Hangman, which Mr. CC had the clever idea of showing Jesus on the Cross. Luckily, one of the kids realized the word was "Advent" before Jesus was crucified! Then the bell rang for Angelus, meaning class was over. I had survived my enforced teaching, and so had my hostage! He even said he enjoyed it.

So a word to the wise: if you plan to park illegally in the parking lot of Our Lady of Perpetual Sobriety, don't be surprised if I force you teach small Mexican children to be good Christians.

Famous Hat