The Very Best of Light Bright

Here are some Light Bright stories for your enlightenment (hah!):

1.  There have been very bad winds here for the last few days.  I was saying that I had heard the wind was going to be bad, at least 60 miles per hour, and she said, "I heard the wind was going to be 80 degrees!"

2.  Light Bright likes country, and I like hip hop, and we each detest the other one's taste in music so we listen to a radio station that plays everything.  Yesterday they played "Ice, Ice, Baby," by Vanilla Ice, then maybe an hour later they played "Under Pressure" by Queen.  Light Bright asked if they hadn't just played this song, and I replied that this was the original, by Queen.  She said, "But he doesn't sound like a woman!"  Now Freddy Mercury is very, very queer but I never thought he sounded effeminate when he sang.  I asked, "Does he sound like a woman in 'We Will Rock You'?" and she said, "No!  Did he sing that?"  "Yes.  Did he sound like a woman in 'We Are the Champions'?"  "No!" she said in surprise.  "I didn't know he sang all those songs!  I thought they were by Queen!"  At this point I was very confused and said, "But weren't we discussing Queen?" and she said, "Oh!  I was thinking of Prince!"

3.  One day when Light Bright was figuring out which doctors covered what rotations during which holidays, she asked me, "Is Christmas always on December 25th?"  I thought that was surprising until she added, "And I don't understand these labels at the top of the spreadsheet:  ICU, Transplant, VA... are those the days of the week?"

4.  I was telling Light Bright about a story Toque McToque had sent me about a guy busted for growing pot in his front yard.  I said I wasn't sure if he were stoned when he planted it, or if he thought the cops wouldn't notice it in such an obvious place.  She said maybe he didn't know what it was.  "I might not know," she explained.  "I mean, marijuana looks just like tobacco."  I was too stunned to say anything for a moment, and she said triumphantly, "I made you think, didn't I?"  Yes, but probably not what you think I was thinking about, Light Bright.  (Toque's theory:  she was raised on a grow-op but her folks told her it was a tobacco plantation.  That would explain so, so, so much.)

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