Feral Kids

Today I asked Rockstar Tailor what I should blog about, and she said, "Feral kids."  I asked if those were kids without owners, but she tells me they are just kids who are out of control.  (She also wants me to refer to her as "Olivia" from now on, but for the sake of clarity I will continue to call her Rockstar Tailor.)

Since kids eat free on Tuesdays at Jerkins, Hardingfele and I took Rockstar Tailor and her pal Subcontinent out for dinner.  Hardingfele was a bit concerned that I would never be able to pass off Subcontinent as my own child, since I am very, very white and she is very, very black, but I figured Jerkins doesn't care which kids go with which adults, as long is there at least one adult paying for a full meal for every kid eating for free.  Rockstar Tailor and Subcontinent had lots of amusing stories about the "feral" boys on their bus who like to say "motherf--ker" and record themselves saying the F word on their iPhones.  Did I mention these kids are nine?  I am several times their age, and I do not own an iPhone.  But I digress.  Subcontinent came up with a novel way to deal with boys who say bad words on the bus:  she sprays Silly String on them.  Hardingfele thought that was more likely to get her in trouble than the feral boys, but I personally thought that was hilarious.  Then again, if Subcontinent were my kid, perhaps I would feel differently about the situation, like, oh, not supplying her with Silly String.

Hardingfele asked if Subcontinent had gotten the email she had sent her, and I was like, "You email your kid's friends?  You're just like my mom - she sends Christmas cards to my friends so her list will seem longer!"  But it turns out that Hardingfele had contacted the bus company about the feral kids on Rockstar Tailor's bus, and measures have been put in place to stop the nonsense.  Subcontinent's mother was wondering how she could get the same measures implemented on her own daughter's bus, since Subcontinent rides a different bus than Rockstar Tailor does, even if she does live right across the street.  (That's our school bus system in a word:  efficient.)  Apparently Hardingfele doesn't know the email address for Subcontinent's mother, so she emailed the information to Subcontinent instead.  And I'm thinking, if I were Subcontinent, would I really pass this information on to my mother?  Or would I continue to pursue vigilante justice with my trusty can of Silly String?  And while Hardingfele must once have been a nine-year-old girl herself, why does she have no memory of how they think?  (Mostly about boys, from what I could ascertain.  And how is that different from big girls my age, right?)

Famous Hat