True Adventure: KARMA

Here is a totally true story: a couple of weekends ago, Luxuli convinced Richard Bonomo, Kathbert, and me to look at houses with her. We saw one that had a palm tree sitting on the balcony, and I said what a shame that it was going to freeze to death. Luxuli said the family had already moved out, so I tried to convince Rich to climb up and rescue the poor palm, but he said that although he was capable of doing so, he would not steal. I called the realtor and inquired about the palm tree, and she said she would have to ask the family about it.

I could not get the poor palm off my mind as every morning I woke up to see frost on the ground. However, when I called the realtor, she said the family was in a foreign country, and she had emailed them but they hadn’t responded. So I gave it some time and called her yesterday, and we had the most unbelievable conversation:

FH: Have you heard from the family about the palm tree?
R: No, they’re in a foreign country.
FH: But you emailed them, right?
R: No.
FH: You told me you had last week.
R: I did, but they haven’t replied yet.
FH: Can you bring the tree into the house?
R: No, this man is a doctor and his house is very neat. That scraggly tree does not fit in.
FH: Then can I take it?
R: I’m not going to give it to you without their permission.
FH: So you’re just going to let it freeze to death??
R: It’s no concern of yours.
FH: It’s a living thing!
R: Why don’t you hassle his neighbors about their plants instead?
FH: They all took their plants in because it’s cold out. So you won’t bring it in, and you won’t let me have it? But why would they want it back once it’s dead?
R: They can throw it away once it dies. It’s their palm tree. Be sure and let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.
FH: (incredulously) You mean besides the palm tree?
R: Yes.

OK, this woman just belittled my concern, was sarcastic and rude, and lied to me about emailing the family, yet she thinks I would hire her as a realtor???? I said I would be sure to tell everyone not to hire her and hung up. It took me a few hours, but it suddenly occurred to me that if this man was a doctor visiting this particular country, he could be a former coworker. This morning I looked up his address and BOO-YEAH!! So I shot him an email advising him to change realtors, then I sent her an email from my special email address of yousuck@yousuck.com telling her about it. If you want to help me in my quest to ruin this woman’s career, contact me privately, because I better not mention her name on this blog. If you’re Rich, go ahead and pray for me. It’s too late anyway. Remember, hubie got demoted after being a jerk. Karma is some wicked strong stuff.

Famous Hat