Who Let the Owls Out? (Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!)

Hardingfele is competing with me for “most airheaded coworker,” it seems. She sent me an email today about how she was telling her coworker Hairspray about a great horned owl in her neighborhood. (I have one in my neighborhood too, unless it is the same one, since Hardingfele and I are neighbors.) These are enormous birds, and Hardingfele said she was concerned it could carry off one of her cats. Hairspray then asked why they let the owl out if it can kill cats. Which begs two questions:

1. Who are “They”?

2. What are “They” letting the owl out of? An owl house? Perhaps a bungowlow?

Hardingfele rescued dozens of books her neighbor had thrown out, and she put a number of them in a Famous Hat pile that made me question what exactly she thought I am: a New Age Catholic who enjoys cooking Creole food? I did take some of the books in my pile, and this weekend I started reading one on the history of the Irish people, which apparently started with a dude who was a friend of Moses. Yeeaaahhh. Another book was an astrology tome I remembered owning as a teenager, but it does not seem terribly accurate anymore, at least about my sign, Capricorn. Unless I am the world’s most aggressive social climber who hates everyone unless I can step on them to get ahead, and I’m boring to boot. So I read the one for Sagittarius, in case that Parke Kunkel guy was actually right and that’s what I am, but that didn’t seem like me either. Odder still, it was totally dead-on for Hardingfele, so I can’t explain that; had they both been inaccurate, I could have just concluded it was all a bunch of Taurus. So I read Aquarius, and that didn’t sound like me either, but it was EXACTLY like Richard Bonomo. So then I read Tiffy’s sign, Virgo, and that was even worse than mine and really didn’t sound like her either. Especially if she’s reading this. Kathbert is annoyed that I didn’t see if Libra sounded like her, which could break the tie, but hey, I only have so much time to devote to this study. The most obvious conclusion I can come to is that this “Linda Goodman” person just hates Capricorns and Virgos, but I will have to get back to you after checking out the accuracy of Kathbert’s description.

Today I was in a horribly pissy mood at work, partly because I was supposed to go to a meeting but had forgotten to order lunch, so they didn’t have a lunch for me. However, the solution was simple: I skipped the meeting. My mood improved even more after I got off the elevator on the floor that was specifically forbidden today for no obvious reason. And guess what? That floor still existed. Tune in tomorrow to find out what other rules I will ignore.

Famous Hat