Sometimes what happens in Vegas does not stay there but winds its way to Wisconsin. This is a true story Light Bright told me about a couple who live in Sin City. I have embellished some details to protect the guilty, but the gist of the story actually happened:
Savannah Hope (LOVE that name, I “borrowed” it from a story Astrochick wrote) frowned to herself in concern. Three days earlier the palms of her husband’s hands had appeared yellowish, and each day they had grown ever darker and browner. Chauncey Hope claimed nothing had changed in his daily routine, so Savannah, who suffered greatly from valetudinarianism, worried that his liver was failing, or possibly his kidneys. What else could explain such a strange color change to such a localized part of his skin?
They were at a dinner party with several other couples at a local Chinese restaurant. The waiter set Savannah’s drink in front of her and she picked it up and sipped at it moodily. It went by the wondrous appellation of Scorpio Rising and consisted of multicolored bands of alcohol in a foot-tall dragon-shaped glass, with all manner of paper umbrellas and flowers bristling from the top. She thought to herself about what she might need to purchase if they stopped at a drugstore on the way home, and once again she puzzled about the way her self-tanning lotion had suddenly decreased in volume in the last few days. She certainly had not been using any more than was necessary to keep up her healthy orange glow, and she doubted the cat was indulging in it. Which left Chauncey…
Savannah set her drink down with a definitive smack and hissed, “You son of a b$@#*!” at Chauncey. He and the other members of the dinner party regarded her with surprise. She continued: “You’ve been using my self-tanning lotion to pleasure yourself, haven’t you? And here I was so worried about you!”
Chauncey looked shocked, not to say guilty, and replied, “Is that what that is??”
No report on whether other parts of Chauncey were also self-tanned….
Famous Hat
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2 comments:
I cannot think of a wiseass comment for this one. Gross comes to mind. The frightening thing is that it was a true story.
It's just wrong on so many levels, but how appropriate that it happened in Vegas!
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