Friday, May 25, 2012

Z-List Celebrity


Toque McToque was bemoaning all the lies floating around out there, and she said we should have a talk radio show to disseminate the truth. She said we could have five listeners and be small-time celebrities, and I pointed out that with my 5.8 loyal readers I am already a Z-list celebrity. What do I plan to do with my very minor fame? Use it to find a farmer to marry, of course! And then I would grow beets to make beet risotto. Delicious AND magenta! How can you go wrong? Here at work we are putting together a “healthy” cookbook as part of a wellness challenge, and I wanted to submit my beet risotto recipe, but I forgot it at home. No problem, I googled it, and it came up not only with a wine pairing (a sparkling rosé) but also a recommendation that it was a good dish for a Capricorn. I found this fascinating, since in fact I am a Capricorn and I love beet risotto. However, I cannot mention this on the Catholic dating website – astrology discussions are strictly prohibited. I feel like my personal ad should have some disclaimers.

Dear Farmer and Future Mister Hat:

The truth is that the moment I learn your birthday, I will think of what your astrological sign is. And I will listen to hip hop in the car when you aren’t there. And you might have to kick me out of bed at five every morning, because I am not a morning person, but I will still make a fabulous farmer’s wife. Just not a very alert one.

Famous Hat

2 comments:

Hardingfele said...

I think beer risotto would be better than beet risotto. Why dont you invent farmer hip hop. You know feral in sort of a rural way!

Famous Hat said...

The problem with farmers is so many of them like country music.