Turkey Army Photo

Here is a picture of Toque McToque and her Turkey Army in pickelhauben. Remember, photos don't lie!

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Turkey Army

As you can see, I have had writer's block for a few days now, but tonight Toque McToque told me something blogworthy. It all started because her sister has a sun conure named (terribly originally) Sunny, which she has to give away, so Kathbert and I were eager to make Sunny's acquaintance and see if she liked either of us. We were supposed to meet on Saturday, but that didn't work out, which is why I went kayaking with Rich instead. Then we were supposed to meet tonight... but that didn't work out, either. Since I had bought some delicious chocolate-covered raisins and almonds from the Nut Man for Toque, I stopped by her house anyway, and she was telling me about the wild turkeys she feeds every morning. Yesterday she didn't see them anywhere, but there was a hawk about, so maybe they were hiding. This morning she saw one, and then it called toward a field, and a bunch of turkeys came running, so she figured it must have been the sentinel telling the others, "She's here!"

So why is Toque taming the turkeys? She said she is going to raise up an all-turkey army, and she will be standing there in her fatigues with a bunch of turkeys as tall as she is standing behind her menacingly, ready to face down anyone who might think to give her guff. She promised to attempt to get (or at least Photoshop) a picture of her Turkey Army, so I will be ecstatic to post that when and if.

OK, I know this post has nothing to do with WWI, but Toque is a "big" (she's actually quite petite) World War I buff, and it's her army, and I couldn't find a better label I have already used. It seems I have never blogged about turkeys (or even Turkey) before, but since Turkey had a significant role in WWI (blowing up the Parthenon), and Toque's army is turkey, there is a connection. Sort of.

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Bikes Are Groovy

As my more astute readers may have noticed, I did not blog on Friday. This is because I was on the annual Fat Tire Tour bike ride and pub crawl to celebrate the birthday of the Daughter of Dennii. This year Hardingfele and her office mate accompanied us, and they had a great time but wanted to leave after the fourth stop. Honestly, I never make it much beyond that myself, so I left with them. Someday I will stick it out to the bitter end…

At the first rest stop we had jello shots and fun prizes like absinthe-flavored dental floss and wasabi-flavored lip gloss. The coolest prizes were probably these little plastic mice to put on our handlebars, and whatever color the mouse was, its nose lit up that color. I got a blue mouse and a green jingle bell; Hardingfele got a green mouse and a blue jingle bell.

This year the ride’s mascot was Pepper the Boston Terrier (in a past year it was Sid the Hedgehog), and I bought a commemorative T-shirt but wore the one from last year, which said: “Bikes are groovy!” and had a penny-farthing bicycle with psychedelic designs between the spokes. Hard to get cooler than that!

After about 30 miles on a bike on Friday, I wanted a very different kind of exercise on Saturday, so Richard Bonomo and I went kayaking. In the evening I made brownies with raw chocolate chip cookie dough (found the recipe online) for a deck party, and we watched a beautiful sunset and then had a bonfire and tiki torches to light up the night. Some partygoers made s’mores using peanut butter cups instead of chocolate pieces, but I couldn’t eat another dessert after having one of my own brownies and a homemade red velvet cupcake. Then last night Rich, Kathbert and I had a delicious dinner including a bunch of vegetables from our garden: green beans, tomatoes, an eggplant, and a very large zucchini. And of course leftover brownies for dessert!

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Almost Studious

As my regular readers know, Toque McToque and I are always thinking up new grant proposals that we plan to (someday) submit to the NIH. Here are a few of our best ones:

The Tropical Origins of Lagomorphs: Why Does Bunny Like Banana and Papaya? (Involves travel to tropical islands)

The Evolutionary Origins of Schadenfreude: Why I Enjoy Watching You Suffer (You can't handle knowing what this one involves)

Are Humans Naturally Crepuscular? (Involves lots of napping)

Since we haven't actually submitted any of these grant proposals, Toque maintains that we are "almost studious" and suggested having a modified Rosie the Riveter as our logo. And here she is!

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Tragic Spam

Hardingfele received this piece of spam, entitled: "Tragic Situation...Help Needed."

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes my Family and I came down here to London,United kingdom for a short vacation,unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed all cash,credit card and cell were stolen off us but luckily we still have our passports with us.

We've been to the Embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all the bad news is our flight will be leaving in less than 8-hrs from now but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills.

Am freaked out at the moment! I will need your help (LOAN) financially. I promise to make the refund once we get back home. Please let me know if you can help?

Pam McScammer

And here is Hardingfele's heartfelt reply:

Dear Pam,

You little pathetic scam artist with no brain capacity. You really think someone random will loan you money and believe that you lost all your money and no one in England is willing to help you. Really? Have you tried the Queen or Prince William? Maybe they could take you into Buckingham palace and you can drink tea and eat crumpets with marmalade as you tell her your tale of woe. I wonder what embassy you went to? The one for Cheatoslovakia or Scamistan? So sorry. I guess you will have to remain in England and work the docks. Be sure to acquire a thick Cockney accent to blend in.

Toodles,
Hardingfele

I have nothing to add. Do you? Feel free to put it in the Comments.

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Blossoms and Rosaries

Here are two true stories for my readers to ponder:

1. Did you enjoy the photos of Mom McToque's daylilies? Weren't those pretty? A neighbor asked to take photos of them, and Mom McToque said sure. Early Saturday morning she got up to go to the Farmer's Market, and she saw her neighbor cutting some flowers. Since when does receiving permission to photograph a person's garden mean you can help yourself to the flowers??  Her neighbor knew she was busted, so she sent a message via Toque's husband, on a 3x5" index card, about how she had "honest and pure" intentions: her camera wasn't working, so she was going to press the flowers for her daughter. Oh, that makes it all OK, right? Whatever.

2. I ordered yet another rosary online, this one a bracelet with beads in pastel colors and a Celtic cross. Yesterday it arrived in the mail, and I realized it was for a child, because my wrists are pretty small and it didn't fit me. I don't remember seeing that in the online description! What to do? I combined it with an anklet, and then it fit around my wrist twice. Here is a picture of the kiddie rosary bracelet with the anklet around it.

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When Writer's Block Strikes

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