Further Proof Rich is an Alien

For years some of us have wondered if Richard Bonomo isn’t a being from a distant planet trying to pass as a human. There is, for example, his inability to smell. I know (thanks to the Goddess of Research, Toque McToque) that 1% of the population is anosmic, but there are other hints, like his imperviousness to temperature extremes. Rich will walk to Mass in a three-piece suit in August and go outside in a T-shirt in February. When I said that I would love to take a hot air balloon ride for my birthday, but unfortunately my birthday is in January, he said, “It should work even better then since the temperature differential would be greater.” I said, “Exactly, it would be COLD,” and he said, “Oh yes, I failed to take the comfort factor into account.” What would this indicate if not that on his home planet, a range of temperatures like we experience here in the Midwest would barely register?

Today the final proof came when a local news station forgot to renew their domain name. Toque, Kathbert, and I all had this problem, but Rich said he did not have this issue. “I’m looking at it right now,” he emailed me. “Have you emptied out your cache?” Yeah, guess what? That didn’t help us normal humans! But somehow Rich still has access to this website the rest of us cannot see. What other explanation can there be but that his peeps up in the Mothership are beaming it to him so that he can be appraised of local developments?

Famous Hat