I am going to jail… and I don’t even know where! This is one of those March of Dimes fundraisers, where I am supposed to raise $1000 in bail (contact me if you would like to help out), but today we found out the restaurant where we were going to be in “jail” just closed abruptly yesterday. So I do not know where I will be in jail. However, this did not stop me from writing a blues song, which I composed in a vanillin-induced craze after eating a cookie. Sing it to any tune you want.
I don’t wanna turn up my volume,
I don’t wanna send this to ten friends.
(You forget who you’re talking to?
You think I even got ten friends?)
Quit sending me dumb s—t over email.
I don’t care about the Latvian scuba team.
I don’t care about that missing five-year old.
I don’t need no free cone full of ice cream.
Don’t tell me that I don’t believe in God
If I don’t send your dumb@$$ email on.
Don’t send me something you need me to see
After 4:20 – cuz I’m already gone!
Quit sending me dumb s—t over email.
I don’t care if Obama never goes to church.
I don’t care if I can get V!agr@ (whatever that is) for cheap.
If I really wanna know, I’ll do a Google search.
For once could you send me something interesting,
Like the GNP of Antarctica last year
Or how to make heavy water at home
Or where I can find the darkest beer?
Quit sending me dumb s—t over email.
Stop it NOW before I come over and kick your @$$.
I wish you’d never learned how to type
If you’re going to send me this stuff with no class.
Famous Hat
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