I have absolutely nothing to say today, but that's never stopped me from saying it anyway. Toque McToque suggested I blog about "helicopter moms," which I believe is the term they use for those crazy parents who hover around their offspring long after the kids should have learned to live independently. (I myself had the opposite kind of parents, but what the heck is the antonym of "helicopter"?) Since I have no personal experience with helicopter moms, this post will just be purely my imagination.
So what is a helicopter mom like? That is an excellent question. If a helicopter is a mammal, then clearly she would produce milk for her copterlets. But what is the gestational period of a helicopter, and how many are born per pregnancy? Would they have a quick reproductive cycle like a mouse, or a slow one like a whale? (I'm thinking whale, but maybe that's just because helicopters look more like whales than mice, if you disregard the spinning thing on top.)
If a helicopter is a bird, how many eggs would she lay per clutch? How many trips per day would she have to make collecting food for her copterlets? Do female helicopters get better mileage than male ones? Or do the males take part in rearing the young? Do helicopters mate for life?
If a helicopter is an insect, is she the kind that carefully carries her young on her back? But wouldn't this be inconvenient when you already have a big rotor on your back? Is she the kind that would eat her own copterlets if they don't fly away fast enough? Maybe she would eat the rotor right off her mate during intercourse.
Clearly helicopters are not plants. Let's not be ridiculous here. So there is no point in speculating about whether they would be angiosperms or gymnosperms.
Helicopters can't be fish either. They don't live underwater. So don't be thinking about what sort of fish would be the maternal model for a helicopter.
Famous Hat
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
While your discourse on the species of helicopter mom was fascinating, I have actually seen the human versions. Painful and absolutely toxic. I would say a marsupial is the best approximation. Something that does not let the kid out of the pouch ever
And my word verification is nag genes, is that somethign the helicopter moms possess
Marsupial. Good call, Hardingfele. And not a cute one like a koala bear or wallaby, but a scary, icky one like an opossum.
Teaching at college I've seen MANY helicopter parents (not limited to just Moms). A bit pain for me and a huge embarrassment to their kids. The stories I could tell about these people...
At least I can always fall back on the "sorry, I can't talk to you based on the law." Of course, some of these parents are clever enough to get their kids to sign over their rights to an independent life. Sad, those poor new adults have no clue what they are doing sometimes. Other times they just don't care.
Post a Comment