Romance at the Triathlon

Sorry for the sporadic blogging lately, I have been somewhat under the weather. Hardingfele sent me yet another piece of employment spam that is so wonderfully specific that how could I resist applying for the job? She received this email at 4:39 am with no subject line:

I have set aside 30% for your time and service. Please reply me with honesty

Wow! 30% for my time and service? You are too generous, Mr. Arab-Sounding-Name with an All-American-Name-for-Your-Email-Address!!

But what I really wanted to share today was this awesome "Missed Connections" ad Toque McToque found on Craigslist. Who says romance is dead?

Re: Ironman Triathlon
You: White male, about 6'2'' and 45 yrs old, brown hair, wearing expensive looking spandex and sperm-shaped helmet, walking west on W. Wilson
Me: White t-shirt, tan cut-offs, and small boobs, walking a reddish colored lab/chow mix, heading east on W. Wilson

It was around 9:30pm, and it appeared as though you had just finished the race and secured your spot at Kona. As you and your friends approached me four abreast on the sidewalk, my heart began to flutter. As I tried to move further to the right to avoid your somewhat muscular, somewhat doughy, large frame, the bushes brushed tenderly against my calf. I attempted to make eye contact, as I did not want my small, slender frame to damage your $8000 bicycle. That's when you noticed me, and those warm, gentle words flowed from your Gatorade and Power Bar stained lips.

"Excuse you", you said to me, as you pushed your expensive bicycle forward with an iron-manly thrust. And then just as quickly, you were swallowed into the enormous sea of other white, spandex and sperm helmet clad men, pushing their expensive bicycles down the sidewalk. I was lost for words at the moment our paths crossed, but have since had many thoughts I'd like to share with you.

If you think this is you, please respond to this post as soon as you return to your luxury condo in the suburbs. Maybe we could meet at a Panera or Starbucks in a mini-mall near your place and chat? I promise I'll park my Shwinn in back.

This woman is my hero(ine). Maybe I will write a Craigslist ad like this the next time someone is totally obnoxious. He will probably never read it, but she must have loved writing it!

Famous Hat