Spamtacular New Career Opportunity!

As my 5.8 faithful readers know, I am currently looking for another job. Just when it seemed that, due to the crappy economy, nothing is out there, Toque McToque's inbox comes to the rescue with the following piece of spam:

Greetings,

You can easily make $300-$1200 or more in a week by working for us as Sub-contractor in your geographical location,you will be in charge of collecting payment/commission on behalf of our organization thus Totally Legit International Cotton Plantation here in Republic Du benin. Does it sounds like your dream job?

Any job that does not involve M. Deities sounds like my dream job!

Note that no form of financial investment is needed from you.

Glad to hear it.

Your tasks are as follows:
1. Receive payment/commission from Customers.
2. Deduct 10% which will be your Commission/pay on Payment processed and remit our office here in Cotonou.

Wait... I'm seeing a potential problem... isn't 10% of 0 still 0?

If you are interested, please provide this information as requested below or in the application form attached with this email and send back to us as this assures our partnership.

I don't know about you, but it has always been my dream job to work in collections for a cotton plantation in Benin. Their application form is very simple too:

APPLICATION FORM
FIRST NAME.............Famous
LAST NAME...................Hat
ADDRESS.......................prefer Miz to Ma'am
CITY..............................yes, but I prefer the term "urban"
STATE............................clinically insane
ZIP CODE........................sorry, only know Morse code
COUNTRY...........................definitely not!
PHONE NUMBER................KX-TG5480 is the model, 5.8 is the gigarange
GENDER..............................female
MARITAL STATUS..............short
AGE............. ....................none of your d**n business
NATIONALITY..................not sure any nation will claim me!
OCCUPATION.................wasting time
EMAIL.................................no, I prefer snail mail

Famous Hat