Open Letter to MAGA Rioters

 

Dear Rioters,

I have seen your posts on Twitter, and I feel your pain. I too have been in a relationship with a malignant narcissist, and I know the shock of realizing this person doesn't care for you at all but has just used you. Here you thought you were doing your Glorious Leader's will and nothing would happen to you, because you are white. White people don't get shot by the police! White people don't lose their jobs for committing sedition! White people don't have to face consequences for their actions, especially when they agree with the people in power! It must have been a terrible surprise when Trump threw you under the bus and said you were horrible people who would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I see that most of you are having a normal reaction to this ("You told us to come and we spent our own money to get here, and now this? F--k you!!"), but some of you are still under his spell and think he was forced to make this statement (well, that's probably true) and that he will come back to rescue you, and the final attack will be even more glorious than this first one, when you fondled a statue of Gerald Ford and stole a lectern and wrote Nancy Pelosi a note calling her a female dog while dressed in ridiculous costumes. I know it was kind of fun at the time, and now that the FBI is contacting you maybe it isn't so fun that you posted selfies on social media and gave your full name to journalists who were covering the riot. I know some of you are very offended that people are now calling you "Antifa," and you have been responding that you are part of the QAnon Army, but let's face it - your former friends are turning their backs on you because Trump is turning his back on you. I did kind of laugh (and cry) when one of you complained about how the police were treating you, because this is America and only BLM protesters get treated like that, and you seemed to do it without any irony. Also, I'm not sure what you mean because the videos I saw were of the police helping you downstairs, ushering you past blockades, and posing for selfies with you. I guess things did get a little rowdy somewhere, because you killed a cop, and I know what great respect you have for the police and that you "back the Badge" and fly the "Thin Blue Line" flag so I'm sure that was Antifa too. We all know Antifa is behind everything, from the bombing of Pearl Harbor to the Fall of Rome. Well, anyway, now that you are unemployed and possibly facing time in prison (but again, probably not, since you're white), you have some time to reflect on how dangerous it is to get into a relationship with a narcissist. It's best to ask yourself now why you would let yourself be used so badly, before you get into another narcissistic relationship and really do something insane. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Famous Hat