Tom Brady Is Pure Evil

 

I am starting to see how people get drawn into conspiracy theories. As my regular readers know, I am often frustrated with the Packers when they lose, but this time I really feel it wasn't their fault. Since Brady played in the AFC until this season, I hadn't really seen a team around him in action, but watching Sunday's game was like hearing descriptions of people watching the infamous Black Sox game: you knew something was really amiss, but you couldn't believe players would really cheat like that. Since other people whose teams are in the AFC have been griping about Brady cheating for many years, today I tried googling "Does Tom Brady cheat?" and found something really surreal - the search started to autofill, as they always do, but as soon as I started writing the word "cheat," it stopped autofilling. Now that is weird! I'm sure LOADS of people have searched for that question! Does Google somehow stop this search? And then... it only came up with five hits that were all about how Brady was investigated for "DeflateGate" and exonerated, which seemed even weirder, because he wasn't exactly exonerated, he just agreed to pay a huge fine so that the whole thing would be forgotten. And surely there are bloggers out there, if not professional sports writers, who have said things about how he must pay off the refs, because that has been the rumor for years... but nothing about that showed up in the search. So weird... Is he paying off Google? I have never seen a search return so few results!

So many things in life seem stacked against us, like in this heavily gerrymandered state where Republicans got about a third of the votes but somehow ended up with two-thirds of the representatives. I just can't imagine how it must feel to be a minority, where things are even more stacked against you. Football isn't supposed to be like that - it's supposed to be a meritocracy, but if you always know one guy is going to win, what's the point of watching anymore? And indeed, ever since Brady has become so dominant in the NFL, their ratings have taken a huge hit. It didn't affect us so much in Packer Land, since we are in the NFC and so very rarely would play the Patriots. But now that Brady plays for the Buccaneers, who are also in the NFC, we will encounter them more, and so we'll be treated to more games where the refs let them get away with murder but call the Packers on ticky-tacky fouls. Who wants to see that? And now I feel like Brady is gaming Google too. How else to explain those weird search results??

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