Dogg on My Blog

 

Tonight I talked to Light Bright for the first time in ages, but we lost twenty minutes from Boethius having trouble opening WebEx, so we had to use Zoom. Sigh. Maybe it is time to consider getting a newer computer... Light Bright is doing a new diet called Hard 30 or something like that, where you can only eat meat, fruit, and vegetables. My doctor suggested I try the South Beach diet, but neither Light Bright nor I know what that is. I guess you have to buy the book...? What I keep hearing is that the Mediterranean Diet is the best one, which would be fine with me. I could eat falafel every day. It sounds way more delicious than Light Bright's new diet.

Today a package came for Travalon, and he said it was one of my Christmas presents. He thought it was supposed to arrive weeks ago, but apparently it had to come from China. Here it is:

Can you guess what it is? Give up? It's a Snoop Dogg Elf on the Shelf. Which is kind of hilarious, because it takes something that's supposed to be child-friendly but is really creepy (Elf on the Shelf) and combines it with something not child-friendly at all but way less creepy, if way more likely to say "motherf--ker." Is Snoop Dogg always watching me? Is he reporting back to Travalon on whether or not I behave? Guess I'll find out next Christmas... He's Snoop in the Loop! He's the Dogg on my blog!

DuoLingo gave me this cheery sticker.

I complete the challenge every month (and DuoLingo helpfully says I do it faster than 95% of users), but this is the first time I remember getting a sticker. I like this one because it's fireworks. What is the challenge, you may ask? It's doing 100 XP worth of exercises. What does XP stand for? I really don't know, but it sounds like a rating for Snoop Dogg. "Yo, that new joint is lit, but don't let yo mama hear it cuz it's crazy XP! It isn't just mothers that are f--king on this record!"

I have now done a little internet sleuthing, and the actual name of my new toy is Snoop on a Stoop. And guess what? It's not officially endorsed by the real Snoop Dogg. How could I not have known any of this before? Apparently it was the hottest toy of Christmas 2021, which, as you may remember, happened like three weeks ago. Where was I, in a coma? How did I just learn about this now?

Famous Hat