Season's Greetings to You and Ivfboo from SPAM!

Just when I couldn't think of anything to blog about, Hardingfele comes to the rescue with another bizarre piece of spam.

Subject: Season's Greetings!

Dear friend,

I supposed that you'd be intrigued by this.
It's helped me when I needed it bad.
http://ripoff.com

Hope this helps

This was actually sent to a Southern belle named Ivfboo, judging by the email address, so maybe Hardingfele got it by accident because she has no idea what "it" is that the sender needed so bad. Is it the same "it" as the "it" that helped the sender? For example, if we replaced the word "it" with "cheese," the email loses nothing:

Dear friend,
I supposed that you'd be intrigued by this.
Cheese's helped me when I needed cheese bad.
Hope this helps

Of course, that still raises the question of what "this" is. Does this=it? e.g.,

Dear friend,
I supposed that you'd be intrigued by cheese.
Cheese's helped me when I needed cheese bad.
Hope cheese helps

Or are they two separate variables? If this email were an algabraic equation, perhaps it would read:

x=intrigue if y=help when y=need and x=help

However, when we break it down this way, we can see that both x and y = help, so therefore x=y. Or maybe not, since this is a conditional formula. Following this logic, x=y only when need=zero, so if you are a needy loser, you can just forget about intrigue. Who knew spam involved so much logic?

Famous Hat