Today's Guest Spammer: Faulkner!

As you may remember, Richard Bonomo had requested that I write a blog post in the style of William Faulkner, who is known for his "stream-of-consciousness" (i.e., run-on sentences) style. (Isn't it amazing how in English class they would tell you not write a certain way, and then they would force you to read things by authors who write like that? Case in point: Ernest "Small Words/Short Sentences" Hemingway.) I am not familiar enough with Faulkner to copy his style, although I understand he is something like James Joyce, and I could probably do a mean James Joyce. Maybe I'll have him write tomorrow's post.

Anyway, once again Hardingfele comes to the rescue, this time with some spam that was apparently written by the dyslexic love child of William "Who Needs Punctuation" Faulkner and ee "who needs capital letters?" cummings. How would Hardingfele ever know what was going on in her life without spam to tell her? As you may remember, she did not know she was selling her stolen bicycle or looking for an unspecified part-time job, and now she has just learned that she is selling her house:

Hey I noticed your trying to sell your home, i just wanted to let you know That God also put me threw that trial a not too long ago and well it was tough i mean i didnt want too and as embarressing as it was i was loosing my home because of the economy and things got slow at work it was almost heart breaking when i had to come home and tell my family my hours were cut from work so i really understand what your going threw, and i wanted to share with you how i overcame and turnned it all around in 1 week, it sounds hard to believe but man omg it worked for me and im the most non computer person i know, have faith and give it a try God bless you and yours, Learn How to Start.

Lest you are tempted to make an offer on Hardingfele's house yourself, let me assure you that Learn How to Start does not have his/her facts straight, and Hardingfele has no intention of selling her house at this time. After all, the ePlush llama she bought for me on that online auction didn't set her back that much. Speaking of cute plushie things, I ordered some for myself as a birthday present. I even had them delivered at work! As my faithful readers know, I love stuffed animals and stuffed germs, but behold stuffed food:


What is it? I left the tag on to give you a clue: "Plush Sushi." That's right, this is a little plush blob of wasabi and a little plush pile of ginger. Plush condiments: no funny aftertaste.

Famous Hat