Closed Captioning

Last night I was bad and skipped choir practice to work out with Hardingfele at the health club. (Life is too short to spend every week practicing songs I know by heart, especially now that I am back to singing alto again.) (This is what happens to you when you can sing both parts – you get bounced around like a red rubber ball.) We did our usual workout in the pool with aqua barbells, but there was a class in the pool when we first arrived, so we spent some time on the stationary bikes. A TV in front of us was playing the “fair and balanced” news station, and they have the worst closed captioning either Hardingfele or I had ever seen. For example, did you realize Mitt Romney was at an autopsy rally yesterday? Really, that’s what it said. I don’t even know what they meant to say, since you can’t hear the TVs without earbuds. Our very favorite correction was a story showing a very tall tower that looked a bit like the Space Needle  tumbling to earth, and the closed captioning informed us that “workers imploded a 2-foot sh*t.” I couldn’t even make this stuff up.

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