In my accidental quest to be the World’s Worst Catholic, I caused one of those pearl-clutching moments on Sunday. The priest said he was going to bless everyone who proclaimed the Word of God at Mass, and he called up all the readers, but not the cantors who sing the Psalms. Afterwards I said to Rich that it was “bulls—t” that the cantors didn’t get recognized too, not super loudly but very emphatically, and an old man walking by stared at me, his eyes bulging out, then he clutched his chest and kind of fell against the wall. Guess I should refrain from swearing in the sanctuary…
Speaking of bulls—t, I have never made a movie of the delivery robots actually rolling around, and I thought of that when Travalon picked me up one day and we saw one rolling by. Monday on my lunchtime walk I saw one coming toward me, but I forgot to film it, so when I saw a second one coming toward me, I got my phone ready to record a video. But do you know what that a—hole robot did? It stopped dead in its tracks, and then it turned its headlights off!! Could it see I wanted to make a movie, and it was like, “Nope!”? What the heck??
When I was moving out of my bachelorette pad, I downsized a lot of stuff, including a bunch of stuffed animals that had sat in a box for years. I thought it would be better to donate them to St. Vinny’s, and then maybe some kid would play with them. Now that I am married to a man who doesn’t mind stuffed animals in our bed, I wish I still had Sara Swan, Winnie Whale, and Anthony Antelope. Why did I get rid of those three? Although Travalon did buy Gabrielle the Gazelle the last time we were at the Como Park Zoo, and she does look a lot like Anthony. I was also sad that I got rid of the stuffed herpes virus, because it looks like a little sunshine. I mentioned this to Hardingfele, and then I ordered one online while she picked one up for me at the hospital gift shop. So now I have two, but the one I ordered online looks more like a reverse egg because the inner round part is lighter than the surrounding membrane thingy. I also got rid of most of my e-Plush animals, and then it turns out Travalon wanted the black poodle, so I ended up buying one of those online for him. See? You just never know when you will want stuff again – that’s why I have such a tough time getting rid of stuff!