Comparative Religion: Monotheism vs. Moneytheism

Our esteemed governor and his cronies keep trumpeting about how God is on their side. Does this concern me? Not particularly, because I don’t want God on my side, I want to be on His side, if you see what I’m saying. Also, while the esteemed governor and I may both say that we are “Christians,” I feel that we are in fact members of two different religions: I am a monotheist and he is a moneytheist. I will illustrate the differences:

God

Monotheists believe in one God.

Moneytheists believe money is God.

Unions

Monotheists believe unions are not inherently good or evil, but of course they can behave either way. Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI have both said that workers have a basic right to unionize. Withholding just wages from the worker is one of the seven sins that cry to Heaven for vengeance.

Moneytheists believe unions are inherently evil because they try to siphon money away from the good (rich) people and give it to the evil (poor) people.

The Poor

Monotheists believe God loves the poor, as illustrated in the Parable of Lazarus and the Rich Man and the Beatitudes.

Moneytheists believe the poor are evil. If they were good, they would be rich.

The Environment

Monotheists believe we are stewards of God’s creation, called to take care of it.

Moneytheists believe the environment is there for them to exploit for money.

The Rich

Monotheists do not believe the rich are inherently evil, since they can use their wealth in positive ways. However, as Jesus said, it is more difficult for them to get into Heaven than for a rope to pass through the eye of a needle. (Yes, that is the correct translation, so just forget all that camel nonsense and the further malarkey claiming that the Eye of the Needle is some gate into Jerusalem that a camel can get through if it kneels.)

Moneytheists believe the rich are good. If they were evil, they would be poor.

So you can see why I can believe in God and so can our esteemed governor, when we believe such radically different things – we just worship different Gods, that’s all.

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World's Coolest Rosary

You, my faithful readers, know me – I cannot NOT save a plant. So yesterday as I was driving between Church #1 (the Papists) and Church #2 (the Heretics), I spotted a little shrub lying by the side of the road, and so of course after singing with the Lutherans I had to return to the spot. It was a small juniper bush with a naked root ball, and I made a huge mess of both myself and Erin Caitlyn O’Honda while rescuing it. Currently it is taking up a lot of space in Plant World, but I hope to plant it in Richard Bonomo’s yard once the ground thaws enough to dig a hole for it.  (Mad props to Kathbert for finding out the 411 on keeping junipers alive.)

It should come as no surprise that I love the color green (although blue is my very favorite), since I love plants so much. And, as my ever-increasing number of faithful readers know (I may be up to seven of you now), I also have a thing for unusual rosaries lately, so it should be no surprise that I googled the phrase “World’s Coolest Rosary” and then had to order one of these:

Yes, what could be cooler than a Lego Rosary!  All in green just like my plants!  I can't remember the exact website, but you can find it by googling "Lego rosary," and the woman makes them herself and sells them on Etsy.com.  They are $20 plus $2 for shipping.  (Hardingfele, I don't want to hear about how you could have made one of these for me for much cheaper.)  It came with a brochure entitled "The Rosary for Children," which made me laugh.  Guess I'm just a kid at heart!
 
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Signs of the Times

Here are some photos from the protest when I went with Richard Bonomo on Wednesday night after choir practice.  Here are some signs:

And the back of the sign...

Here are some signs from non-state workers showing their support:

And a close-up of the sign:

And here are a couple out-of-state signs supporting us:

This sign shows all the places people have called from, ordering pizzas to donate to the protesters:

Here is a shot of the crowd hanging over the balconies:

And here is a short movie of some protesters playing instruments:

This may seem completely unrelated, but believe me, I can make it relevant:  one frond of my Boston fern is split at the top... like it's giving a peace sign to the protesters!

And this may seem unrelated as well, since these are the Cuddly Rosaries sent by Mom Hat for Anna Banana II, Jilly Moose, and OK Cap (the red ones) and the newly adopted daughter of Mr. and Mrs. "Smith" (the pink one)... but I have been praying for our governor's heathen soul!

And these are the new rosaries I just ordered from the Oblates of Our Lady of the Snows:  one made of black Czech beads with a relic in the crucifix that touched the (temporary) tomb of Jesus; a ladder rosary; and a St. Francis rosary with wooden beads and a San Damiano crucifix.  See?  Totally relevant!

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Cuddly Rosary

Here is a sample of the cuddly rosaries my mother sent for the ladies in the Hubby Hunters:

If you would like a cuddly rosary of your own, let me know.  My mom is happy to make them in whatever color you like.

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Union Busting Is Disgusting!

Last night A-Joz and I made a Holy Hour at Our Lady of Perpetual Sobriety, because if there is one thing I have learned from the Pro-Life Movement, it is that you pray for your enemies before you protest. Then we went up to the Capitol Building, and it was just as crazy as we had heard! People were hanging over all the balconies on every floor, playing drums and vuvuzelas and chanting things like:

Kill the bill!
What’s disgusting? Union busting!
This is what democracy looks like!

And the signs! They were so amazing! I will have to remember to bring a camera tonight. A local pizza joint has been getting orders from all over the world, people paying for us protesters to have a bite to eat. Seriously, Malawi? I didn’t think they could afford to feed themselves, never mind us! This kindness will not be forgotten. And people from Egypt and France and even Pittsburgh with this message: “No hard feelings about the Super Bowl! Keep up the good fight!” This thing has spread way beyond our state now, because they keep saying if we fall, other states will bust their unions too. And then we can all return to the days of working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, for 35 cents an hour and no benefits. Good times.

Our esteemed governor made a statement on TV last night that didn’t seem to have much of a point beyond proving that he was a total hypocrite: he said that he wants to bust unions because when he had to deal with them on a local level, he would ask them to make concessions and they would say forget it, bring on the layoffs! Yet now the unions are willing to make concessions but he’s saying forget it, I’m bringing on the layoffs! So maybe he thinks we should get rid of governors too. Even Rich, who is a diehard Republican, said: “He wants to implement draconian permanent solutions for temporary problems.” Loser. (The governor, not Rich.) I’m glad he got punk’d by that reporter who showed him up for the psycho union buster he is.

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Cajun Zodiac

From Alert Reader Hardingfele.  I apparently am Okra, and my brother is a Grubworm, which sounds about right.  What do you get when you mix all these Cajun Zodiac signs together?  Burgoo!

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful, they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius.

GRUBWORM (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies: Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not!

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an Office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for commmunication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, which serves you well! You are pure in heart. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you.

BOILED PEANUTS ( Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you: Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects! You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

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The Protest: An Irish Perspective

There is nothing I like better than reading about what is going on down the street as written by someone halfway around the world.  A-Joz sent me this article from the Irish Times about the protests at the Capitol, and I particularly loved these paragraphs:

Meanwhile, all 14 of Wisconsin’s Democratic state senators vanished, to prevent the majority Republicans from attaining a quorum of 20 senators, which would be required to pass the legislation. The sergeant-at-arms searched their offices, to no avail.

Then a journalist from the Chicago Tribune sent a hilarious dispatch from Rockford, just across the border in Illinois. A television news helicopter hovered over the Clock Tower Resort, where runaway senators milled about the lobby amid preparations for an unrelated Chocoholic Frolic.

The Wisconsin lawmakers were pursued by what the Tribune called a “media horde”. They never checked into the hotel and vanished again. Some gave telephone interviews from what they described as “secure locations”. Journalists hounded the bartender at the resort’s Irish pub, asking whether she’d spoken to the missing legislators. She referred them to an employee wearing a leprechaun costume for St Patrick’s Day rehearsals, whereupon a reporter ran after the leprechaun.

The Washington Post this week referred to Mr Walker as “Wisconsin’s Mubarak”, and by Thursday evening, the capitol building was beginning to look like Tahrir Square, with protesters setting up camp in the marble halls with sleeping bags and provisions. The New York Times reported on a festive atmosphere, with drums beating and students dancing.

What would we do without the Irish to tell us what our crazy senators are up to?  And I love that the sergeant-at-arms diligently made sure they weren't hiding in their offices.

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