RESPECT Yourself!

Between the ages of 19 and 23 I was madly in love with a boy who was everything I would not be looking for in a man now: a drinking, smoking, atheist Virgo who was apparently on the 26-year plan to get through college. I was his backup girlfriend whenever the girl he really loved told him to get lost, and he was always calling me at 4:00 am to tell me his ulcer was killing him because she was cheating on him with his best friend. Why didn't I hang up on him? I suppose partly because I was young and stupid, and he was very good-looking, but maybe it is because Society makes us women feel like anything is better than being alone, so we should put up with unlimited crap from men.

I did buy into that myth at the time. (Then again, I was also "pro-choice but personally opposed to abortion," which is as logical as saying, "I would never personally own slaves, but I can't impose my views on other people.") Now I am older and wiser and realize looks are meaningless; the most important thing is whether a man could build a house from scratch. The Ideal Man would be something like Richard Bonomo (though I only require weekly, not daily, Mass attendance) - if he had been on Gilligan's Island, those people would have been stuck for about three seconds. Then again, they probably would have wanted to stay there because RB could get cable reception and running water going, and why leave a private tropical island if you have all the amenities?

Sadly, there are women my age who still have no self-respect when it comes to men. I know one who fell hard for someone who just wanted a green card, and she is still in love with him even after he found some other fool girl to marry him so he could stay in this country. It is both frightening and pitiful to see how sure she is that they were meant to be together. Sure, I once thought that about my youthful mistake, but he married the Other Woman and I got on with my life. Are they living happily ever after or is she still cheating on him and giving him ulcers? Not my problem. I wish I could help my acquaintance get over her Green Card mooch, but she only wants us to tell her that she is right, and one day he will return to her. How I wish I could give her some self-respect! It's a wonderful feeling when you love yourself enough not to let others take advantage of you, and I wish it for all my sisters.

Famous Hat