Thursday, December 17, 2009

All I Want for Christmas

The other day Tiffy's parents treated us to lunch (thanks, Tiffy's parents!) and by the front door of the restaurant there was a little tent like this:

(photo credit: stolen off some other blog)

I said to Tiffy that I would really like to have a big tent like that, for camping. Wouldn't I just be the coolest person at the campsite with my bright yellow tent featuring a gracefully slipping stick figure? And if you forget your tarp, you really will have a "piso mojado!" (Yes, I do know this from bitter experience.) So this got me to thinking about my Christmas wish list. Unlike those other, non-random blogs out there, I am not going to wish for those things everyone wants, like world peace or riding through Monaco in a Bugatti driven by an Italian prince who had said to me in his irresistible accent, "I cannot leeve weethout you anymore! Come away weeth me now!" Not that I would complain about those sorts of presents, but this is a list of things that don't exist and I wish they would.

The Piso Mojado tent: perfect for drinking mojitos until you fall on the piso. Or whatever it is you do when you camp. Someday I will post about the "walking tent" we once saw at a campsite.

The word "cardinary": I have probably spouted off about this before, but all the missing words in English drive me crazy. Where is "ruthful"? Where is "ept"? And where the heck is "cardinary"? I mean, there's cardinal and ordinal, and then there's ordinary... My friends have been very indulgent about this wish of mine, and since "cardinal" technically means "hinge," they have proposed that cardinary could refer to the event everything hinges on. Example: "It was a cardinary moment in my life when I discovered salsa music."

"Guaguanco Yourself Fit" class: Health clubs have lately been offering fitness classes set to Latin music, and I approve highly. It has not escaped my attention, as I dance around in Plant World pretending to be somewhere warm and sunny, that guaguanco makes me shake a tailfeather twice as hard as the other Latin rhythms. I do not know what the dance to this rhythm looks like (though I hear it's quite risque!) but it must burn about a jillion calories per hour. Can you imagine an entire class set to this rhythm? The obesity epidemic in this country would be over AND everyone would know how to dance!

The Hawaiian shirt sweater: As all fans of the movie Office Space know, "Friday is Hawaiian shirt day!" But what are you supposed to do in the winter? Why has nobody invented this yet?

Feel free to leave a comment and tell me what nonexistent thing you want for Christmas.

Famous Hat

2 comments:

Hardingfele and Plysj said...

Check out that homemade ebay site http://www.etsy.com/ It's for people who want to sell oddball things that they make themselves. There are a lot of sweaters there. I probably have a list of things that I would want.
1. Serving saver lids that hinge to the serving saver, so that they are not separated
2. Fitted sheets that really fit
3. Music books that are bound and not glued so you can spread them out vs. trying to bend the binding
That's only 3, I probably have 100 of them if I think of it

Famous Hat said...

I can agree with those! Toque says she wants a phone that can shock the person on the other end if they are stupid. I said, how about a smell phone? Then if you like someone, you can call them with flowers. But if they are being stupid, just lay a Silent But Deadly on them. She said that would be good too.