For those of you who did not enjoy the true story of what happened in Vegas, I have prepared a fictional but clean account of what transpired:
Savannah Hope (name still courtesy of Astrochick) frowned to herself in concern. Three days earlier the palms of her husband’s hands had appeared yellowish, and each day they had grown ever darker and browner. Chauncey Hope claimed nothing had changed in his daily routine, so Savannah, who suffered greatly from valetudinarianism, worried that his liver was failing, or possibly his kidneys. What else could explain such a strange color change to such a localized part of his skin?
They were at a dinner party with several other couples at a local Chinese restaurant. The waiter set Savannah’s drink in front of her and she picked it up and sipped at it moodily. It went by the wondrous appellation of Scorpio Rising and consisted of multicolored bands of alcohol in a foot-tall dragon-shaped glass, with all manner of paper umbrellas and flowers bristling from the top. She thought to herself about what she might need to purchase if they stopped at a drugstore on the way home, and once again she puzzled about the way her self-tanning lotion had suddenly decreased in volume in the last few days. She certainly had not been using any more than was necessary to keep up her healthy orange glow, and she doubted the cat was indulging in it. Which left Chauncey…
Savannah set her drink down with a definitive smack and hollered, “You son of a gun!” at Chauncey. He and the other members of the dinner party regarded her with surprise. She continued: “You’ve been using my self-tanning lotion to varnish your boat, haven’t you? And here I was so worried about you!”
Chauncey looked shocked and replied, “Is that what that is?? No wonder my boat has that orange glow!”
Famous Hat
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2 comments:
Interestingly, both Light Bright (who told me the original story) and Luxuli like the clean version better. Here's what Luxuli says:
"I actually thought your fix-up patch for the entry on Chauncey was funnier than the original form. The original meaning comes through in the absurdity of varnishing a wooden boat with self-tanning lotion, and yet it all makes sense....brilliant. It's so obliquely stupid, but the hidden meaning comes through more clear & loudly.....haha......"
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