One Million Giraffes Strong

In college I once did research for a talk on dragons and unicorns in art all over the world, and I came across this delightful story: a Chinese king had sent sailors out to find him a unicorn, and some landed on a foreign shore and found it - the unicorn! It was graceful and gentle, just as they had expected, although they were a bit surprised that it stepped on the ground without any concern for the insects it might be harming. They captured it and brought it back to China, where the king was very pleased with it, and it lived the rest of its days in his court. From depictions of the "unicorn," we know that what the sailors brought back is the creature we know today as the giraffe.

Some kid in Norway is asking for one million depictions of giraffes, and so last night I drew him this picture. (If you want to send him a giraffe, here is his website: http://olahelland.net/giraffes/ ) I know perfectly well that giraffes are white with big dark orange spots, but I couldn't find my markers so this was executed with a gold pen, a three-fourths dried up yellow highlighter, and a green pen for the eye. Anyway, giraffes are often depicted as yellow.

Figure 1: Famous Hat circa 1995

In a sense you could say this is a self-portrait, since for tax purposes in 1995 I was a giraffe. I was a graduate student that year with some odd jobs on the side, but for occupation I put "giraffe," and apparently the IRS had no problem with that because they sent me my entire refund. I guess they figured a giraffe could gross $3,000 in 1995. Then again, as Kathbert pointed out, maybe they just thought I dressed in a giraffe costume for a living.

Figure 2: Famous Hat's 1995 1040-EZ Tax Form

Famous Hat