KlezKamp: Everyone's a Little Yid

My mother has an illustrious ancestor who was, in her day, a well-known author. When I decided to create a nom de plum incorporating my illustrious ancestor's last name with one from my father's family, I realized I did not know many names from his family. I called and left him a message asking for ancestral last names, and he left a message which was a long string of Gaelic surnames and then "Katzenberg." You know how they say people who were separated from a twin at birth somehow always know they have a twin somewhere? That's how I felt, like I always knew I was a little bit Jewish. Later I found out the Katzenbergs are German Catholics and they aren't even my ancestors; Mr. Katzenberg married my grandmother's sister. The irony is that if there is any Jewish blood in me, it comes from my mother's side, which means my illustrious ancestor is no relative of mine. Let's just say it would be highly unusual for two blond, blue-eyed people to have a daughter so dark she could practically pass for another race, and that is also when intellectual ability invaded our branch of the family tree... and good looks fled. My mother has brothers who got perfect scores on their SAT tests, and a cousin who was a runner-up in her state's beauty pageant.

Anyhow, whether I really do have Jewish blood or not, during KlezKamp everyone's got a little Yid in them! I LOVE klezmer music, it's got that New Orleans-style syncopated tuba hooting in the background while the clarinet wails in that weird Mideastern scale. Nothing better!... except salsa, of course. So Saturday night there was a free klezmer concert, and it was so packed that they couldn't even let everyone in. Hardingfele got there late and they wouldn't let her in, even though A-Joz, Kathbert, and I had saved a seat for her. She was schmoozing some friend of the band by telling him she plays hardanger fiddle, like that's going to impress him. THEN she drops my name because - get this - I play in that Mideastern band. Yeah, we play Israeli folk songs (in HEBREW, not YIDDISH) and Arab pop songs! Sure, my great-grandfather was a shabbes goy in Brooklyn, but that's not much of a connection. And I don't even have shiksappeal! What she never did was tell the guy that she's Jewish too. You'd think that would be her first attempt at connection: "Eh, paisano!" But she's always been meshuggah. (And yes, Hardingfele, I know you're going to read this!)

Anyway, it was a great concert, and they even gave us a free CD in the program! Can you believe that? Then yesterday was KlezKamp, when the professional band members taught us amateurs. It started in the morning, I suppose to keep us goyim away, but I just snuck in late, after church. There was a big section of people with licorice sticks, but they were all really good (because you know how excruciating it can be to hear a bad clarinetist), and the fiddles were all good too. There were at least five accordions, and three other mandolinists. It was the biggest klezmer band I'd ever seen, and it turned out most of us played in bands so not surprisingly we got it together pretty quickly. I did feel a little conspicuous with my straight blonde hair, especially when the bass teacher talked about people davening at the schul, or something. (It seems to have something to do with praying at the temple.) However, it was refreshing to be among so many non-athletic people - I felt right at home!

Tonight Anna Banana II, Rich, and possibly Kathbert said they would be interested in going with me to the closing concert of KlezKamp. If, of course, we can even get in...

Famous Hat