It's Official: I Am Nobody!

The downturn in the economy has gotten everyone gloomy about their jobs: will it end tomorrow? Will they have to take pay cuts? Once upon a time I worked at a happy little start-up company that was gobbled up by a giant, evil corporation, and then they began laying people off bit by bit. I lasted two years. Thursday of my final week we had a meeting in which they explained that production of the equipment would move to China within the next year, "but," they assurred us, "nobody will lose their job." The next day was the first of the month, so when they called me into the HR department, I naively thought they were finally going to give me the raise they had been promising me for, oh, five months. (I had taken on extra job responsibilities with no increase in pay.) Somehow it escaped my attention that it was also a Friday afternoon, which is when they always lay people off.

At first I wasn't sure what to say when they told me my position was being eliminated. Once the shock wore off, it occurred to me that I had officially been proclaimed "nobody" - after all, hadn't they said just the day before that "nobody" would lose her job? And then hadn't I just lost mine? The implication was inescapable. And with that, I was free to enjoy life on a whole new level. Let me just state for the record that being laid off was amazing; I had free health care for a YEAR, I was paid to sit at home and write a novel (and look for jobs now and then), and this was the start of spring so I was free to enjoy the beautiful weather. Just as things got hotter, I found another job - with air conditioning, which I didn't have at home at the time - and the day before I started the new job, I finished the stupid novel. (And I do mean STUPID. Hardingfele is the only other human who has ever read it, and she can attest to its lack of literary quality.)

Of course, now that I have a condo and all those dependents (two rabbits, a hedgehog, and a jungle full of plants) to support, I couldn't be as carefree about being laid off. Still, sometimes I remember those three months of writing with such nostalgia, when I chose my own hours and was free to take a walk outside if I so chose. Coincidentally, I am working on yet another terrible novel (actually, three, but one is nearly done) so I am all ready for this economic downturn!

Famous Hat