Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Smackdown: Hornets vs. Protestants

Once Richard Bonomo came to see me at work, and as I may have mentioned, my office is at the very top of a tall building. We got on the elevator, and as it went down, it acquired more people. On one floor it stopped and the doors slid open, but there was nobody waiting outside to get into it. Instead, an enormous black hornet flew into the elevator, and everyone ducked as far back into a corner as possible. I cried, "Don't kill it!" as someone swung a folder at it, but two floors later the elevator stopped again, the doors slid open, and again nobody was waiting to get on, but the hornet flew out. Then Rich said, "It looks like he just wanted that floor," and everyone laughed.

Now I have seen dogs window-shopping in Greece and cranes trying to get into the Pharmacy Library, but that is the first time I have seen an insect seem to do a normal human activity. It is funny to think that our first impulse is to believe the bad ol' hornet is going to get us, when maybe all it wants is to go from the 6th to the 4th floor, like all us lazy hominids who don't take the stairs. But if we are always expecting the worst out of people, of course we would expect the worst out of other creatures too. So next time you find yourself trapped on an elevator with a hornet, ask yourself, "Does this hornet want to be with me any more than I want to be with it?" After all, it can only sting you, but you can squish it, which is a little more deadly... unless you happen to be deathly allergic to hornet stings. Next time, don't kill the hornet unless it is clearly coming to attack you. At that point, it's self-defense.

Remember, it could always be worse: instead of being trapped on an elevator with a wasp, you could be trapped in an elevator with a WASP.

Famous Hat

2 comments:

Olivia said...

LOL this is a very funny and yet thoughtful post. Sure the hornet wanted to go say from Neurology to Peds (I am trying to remember the layout of where you work). It is very true the first impulse people have when they see an insect is to kill it. I do not care for bugs, but I try not to off anything except mosquitoes. We trap them in mason jars and set them free outside. I still dont get the impulse that females have to scream and get up on a chair when they see a mouse. My God it is a fricking teeny mouse, more afraid of you then you of it. Get a grip. And besides they are plush.

Famous Hat said...

I believe wholeheartedly in the Invertebrate Relocation Program, with the exception of mosquitoes. Again, that's just self-defense.