Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Know Any Upcoming College Graduates?



Some of you may know someone who is going to be graduating from college in the next few months. Thinking back on that exciting time in my life, I would make the following suggestions. First, do not give a book as a graduation present. A relative did that to me, and it wasn’t even a fun book like a murder mystery or a romance novel, but a book About A Subject with a bibliography and everything, like I hadn’t just spent four years buried in such books. If I were just released from prison, would this relative give me a striped shirt and a length of chain to commemorate the occasion? (Probably.) Today’s college grads are leaving with a lot of debt, so cash would always be a welcome gift. My best suggestion, however, is something to aid with travel. (Which cash can do, admittedly.) This is the best age for a person to travel; you can sleep on the ground and skip meals without a second thought. Also, when I was in Europe in my early 20’s, there were a lot of hot German guys traveling around on Eurail passes who all seemed to play guitar. They never did more than sing a song for me, but it was fun to fantasize that I might end up with one of them, and that is a fantasy that just doesn’t work when you are old enough to be their mother and don’t stay at youth hostels. I presume those guys from my youth now have sons who are equally hot and musical for the new college grad to fantasize about. Who knows? Maybe she will even end up with a hot German husband.

The second piece of advice I would give to someone who knows a person about to graduate from college is to dissuade them from going to grad school right away. In my personal experience, people who go to grad school after four years of college burn out and drop out, while the ones who take some time to travel, work, and just figure out what they want out of life go back to grad school, get their PhD, and land a tenure-track position. Who can face six-plus more years of study after four continuous years of study? Plus the new grad is very young and may not know what they want to do with their life. I would strongly recommend nobody go to grad school before the age of twenty-four, and even that may be a bit young. Then they won’t end up in the position of thinking: “I only got a degree in Experimental Theater because I wanted to be an experimental actor. I didn’t really want to be a scholar of Experimental Theater. Besides, all the major universities are cutting out their Experimental Theater departments, so how would I ever find a tenure-track position?” (Based on a true story.) While times have changed, human nature is the same as it was back when I was a student, and the current grad students I deal with are all more mature than I was when I made a failed attempt at grad school. Nothing good ever came of that. However, the travel I did in my early 20’s left me with treasured memories. So encourage that new college grad to put down the books and get out there to see the world!

Famous Hat


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