Some of you may know someone who is going to be graduating
from college in the next few months. Thinking back on that exciting time in my
life, I would make the following suggestions. First, do not give a book as a
graduation present. A relative did that to me, and it wasn’t even a fun book
like a murder mystery or a romance novel, but a book About A Subject with a
bibliography and everything, like I hadn’t just spent four years buried in such
books. If I were just released from prison, would this relative give me a
striped shirt and a length of chain to commemorate the occasion? (Probably.)
Today’s college grads are leaving with a lot of debt, so cash would always be a
welcome gift. My best suggestion, however, is something to aid with travel.
(Which cash can do, admittedly.) This is the best age for a person to travel;
you can sleep on the ground and skip meals without a second thought. Also, when
I was in Europe in my early 20’s, there were a lot of hot German guys traveling
around on Eurail passes who all seemed to play guitar. They never did more than
sing a song for me, but it was fun to fantasize that I might end up with one of
them, and that is a fantasy that just doesn’t work when you are old enough to
be their mother and don’t stay at youth hostels. I presume those guys from my
youth now have sons who are equally hot and musical for the new college grad to
fantasize about. Who knows? Maybe she will even end up with a hot German
husband.
The second piece of advice I would give to someone who knows
a person about to graduate from college is to dissuade them from going to grad
school right away. In my personal experience, people who go to grad school
after four years of college burn out and drop out, while the ones who take some
time to travel, work, and just figure out what they want out of life go back to
grad school, get their PhD, and land a tenure-track position. Who can face
six-plus more years of study after four continuous years of study? Plus the new
grad is very young and may not know what they want to do with their life. I
would strongly recommend nobody go to grad school before the age of
twenty-four, and even that may be a bit young. Then they won’t end up in the
position of thinking: “I only got a degree in Experimental Theater because I
wanted to be an experimental actor. I didn’t really want to be a scholar of
Experimental Theater. Besides, all the major universities are cutting out their
Experimental Theater departments, so how would I ever find a tenure-track
position?” (Based on a true story.) While times have changed, human nature is
the same as it was back when I was a student, and the current grad students I
deal with are all more mature than I was when I made a failed attempt at grad
school. Nothing good ever came of that. However, the travel I did in my early
20’s left me with treasured memories. So encourage that new college grad to put down the books and get
out there to see the world!
Famous Hat
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