Dream Job

My office mate Light Bright has a new career path she would like to follow: fictional character. She is reading a well-known erotic novel that shall remain nameless, and today she told me that she envies the main character. “She’s marrying a billionaire and he’s buying her a house on the coast, that b---h,” she said. “How do I trade places with her?” I pointed out that those things are much more likely to happen in a fictional story than in real life, and she said, “There’s the job I’d like to apply for – fictional character. How do you get that job?” So if my readers have any idea how Light Bright can become a fictional character who marries a billionaire, be sure to let us know. Also, would she have to divorce her real-life husband if she got a richer fictional one? And would her taxes be fictional? I can see where she thinks this would be an ideal gig, but as someone who always feels like her life is scripted by a sadistic writer, I can tell you that you are not guaranteed a good outcome as a fictional character.

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