Spamtacular!

First, a word to those who cannot fathom my fondness for hip hop, because you think I should have either moral or aesthetic objections: BASS. (Especially now that Hardingfele has shown me how to crank the bass in my car! Erin Caitlyn O'Honda has some excellent speakers!) I can understand moral objections, but really, is it any worse than most rock music? (Rock Star Tailor informed me yesterday that my favorite song, "Ice Cream Paint Job" by Dorrough, is the #1 video on the video request channel. This makes me feel like my tastes are hopelessly populist, but what moral objection can you have to a song about how great the guy's car is?) The aesthetic argument is beyond me; where in the rulebook does it say someone who loves (and I mean LOVES) baroque music cannot also love hip hop? Was it Statute 21.3.6a?

Mr. Obi Jerry sent me the following email:

Attn My Dear
I cashed the check of one Million five hundred thousand USA Dollars due to expiry and deposited it with FEDEX Courier Benin Branch,so contact the Director Rev.Goodluck mika Email:(yerasucker@fakeaddress.com )I have paid them for the delivery, the only money you will pay is $185 being the security fee to enable them deliver the parcel to your given address. Reconfirm your info to them and also ask the director to issue the tracking/airway bill once you send them the feeyour full nameYour home addressMobile numberUpdate me once you receive your package,
Regards
Mr Obi Jerry

How generous that he is sending me $1.5 million I didn't even ask for - and for the low, low price of $185! - but then I am his dear, and he regards me.

This guy regards me too, now that the indigene from my country has lost his live:

Attention:
Good Day
I am Barrister. David Roland, Solicitor and Personal Attorney to Mr. Dennis, an indigene of your country who used to work as a Contractor with Diamond Melting & Mineral Exporting company, Pretoria, South Africa.

On the 21st of April 2000, my client was involved in a car accident along the Pretoria inter state High way unfortunately, he lost his live in the event of the accident,this has prompted me to contact you, I have made several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives and this has proved unsuccessful. I decided to contact you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the firm where these huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the security firm where the deceased had a deposit valued at about $100.5 Million USD (Hundred.five Million USA Dollars).

Consequently, the Security Company issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the deposit declared recovered treasure and diverted to the company recovered funds/reserve.

Since I have been unsuccessful to locate the relatives for some years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you are the same country that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you for both of us to share the money; 60% to me and 35% to you, 5% to charity. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up the claim. I will provide you with more information on this as we progress.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through.

Best regards,
Mr David Roland

How thoughtful! He even wants to give some to charity! But as always, Hardingfele still gets the very best spam. For example, did you know you can now get your advanced degree via phone? It's true! See the following:

BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! Is your lack of a degree holding you back from career advancement? Are you having difficulty finding employment in your field of interest because you don’t have the paper to back it up – even though you are qualified? If you are looking for a fast and effective solution, we can help! Call us right now for your customized diploma: Inside U.SA.: 1-800-YOU-SCAM Outside U.S.A.: +1-718-YOU-SCAM. Just leave your NAME & TEL. PHONE # (with country-code) on the voicemail and one of our staff members will get back to you promptly!

Wow! Why did we spend all that time and money going to school?

Famous Hat