And now what you (and by "you" I mean Hardingfele) have been waiting for all week: The final scenario of the Concerted Effort to Find the Dangerous Chipmunk.
Scene One: Official-looking room.
Official-looking guy: OK, we need to ask the BUFF cat what he knows. Got that, people? The BUFF cat – not the orange cat, and not the cat that looks like someone put a brown cat and an orange cat in a blender.
Scene Two: Hardingfele’s backyard
First Person: Is this the buff cat?
OLG: No, that is clearly an ORANGE cat! Are you color-blind or something?
Second Person: Got it, boss.
OLG: To the interrogation room!
Scene Three: Interrogation room
Guy dressed all in black: So what do you know about the chipmunk that allegedly bit Ms. Hardingfele?
Vinny: Meow.
OLG: Did the translator get that?
Translator: He said, “I’d know the rodent anywhere! He had a stripe down his back!”
OLG: Hear that, people? Now we know what we have to do. Find that chipmunk with a telltale stripe down his back!
Scene Four: Hardingfele’s backyard
Third Person: Got it!
OLG: To the interrogation room!
Scene Five: Interrogation room
Guy dressed all in black: What were you doing the afternoon of Sunday, September 20th?
Chipmunk: cheecheechee
Translator: I can’t hear. Can you turn up the volume?
Chipmunk: cheecheechee
Translator: Still can’t quite make it out. Can you turn it up to 11?
Chipmunk: CHEECHEECHEE
Translator: OK, that I got. He says he was at the annual Rodent Convention they hold at Old Man Digby’s barn every year.
OLG: That should be easy enough to verify. Get me the phone. (Into phone.) Yeah, we got a chipmunk here with a stripe down his back claiming he was at Old Man Digby’s barn on Sunday, September 20th…. What? OK, roger that. (Hangs up phone.) We got a positive ID. Looks like his alibi holds water. Release the suspect! And someone write the Official Letter and send it to Ms. Hardingfele.
Famous Hat
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