My Flighty Friend

Do you ever feel like your life was scripted by someone who writes sitcoms for a living? I know I do. For example, this weekend I went hiking at a state park with Tiffy, Anna Banana II, both Blaney Boys, Cecil Markovitch, A-Fooze, and Richard Bonomo. Isn't that hilarious? Just kidding. As we were hiking, I found a male monarch butterfly lying on the ground. One of his antennae was broken off, but other than that he seemed fine, yet he was unable to fly. I set him on top of my raspberry beret (it was too cold for Famous Hat) and continued to hike, thinking he would fly away once he warmed up enough. (It was a very cold day for mid-October.) The butterfly had other ideas and stayed on my beret like a wacky decoration during the drive home.

He was still on my beret when we stopped for dinner, and I was afraid the restaurant staff would not appreciate having a live butterfly in their establishment. Would they honestly believe he was a service animal? ("Yeah, he's a seeing-eye butterfly.") But just when you need them most, a convention of Tolkein nutjobs always arrives on the scene, and so we followed a bunch of ents and orcs into the restaurant, and nobody even noticed my little friend. He sat peacefully by the window all through dinner (but had no interest in any water or juice himself) so I put him back on my beret when we left and slipped, barely noticed, out the door. (I did see one restaurant employee look at my beret kind of oddly, but she said nothing.) I got back into my own car with Tiffy, and when we left, the butterfly was no longer on my beret, so we figured he just hitched a ride to my hometown.

"I feel so used," I told Tiffy.

"Typical male," she replied. "First they won't leave, then when you get used to having them around, they split." Then we put on our swimsuits and tested the jacuzzi in Rich's new house, which met with our complete and utter approval. (He was more excited about the bidet.)

Yesterday morning I went to Mass and noticed nothing amiss, but on the way home I noticed something in the back window. It was my buddy butterfly! He hadn't left me after all! In fact, I had a very hard time convincing him to leave the car at all, but finally he did come with me... and then he suddenly took off and sailed into the clear blue autumn sky, completely recovered. I am hoping he is safely on his way to Mexico, which is where monarch butterflies gather for the winter, but Rich thinks he won't be able to find his way there with only one antenna.

Several people took photos of my little buddy, but unfortunately they have not yet emailed them to me. However, I do have something else for you: the film of the turquoise flames from the campfire I went to months ago. So watch this space for pictures of my friend the butterfly sometime in the next six months.

Famous Hat