True Adventure: Movie Making!

Sorry for the lack of posts the last few days, and no I did NOT have the swine flu, at least not that I know of. I believe it was what is commonly known as a "cold." Or maybe my triglycerides are so out of whack that I just ceased existing for a few days. Anyhow, now I am back with only a mild cough and some hoarseness, which shouldn't affect my blo- *hack! hack!*

Last night I was still quite under the weather but agreed to make The Movie with Hardingfele, Rockstar Tailor, and Richard Bonomo. The three of us adults put on disposable hazmat suits, the two of them in size 3X ("one size fits nobody!") and mine a slightly more manageable size X. Rich wore his beekeeper hat and I wore the Sea Foam Rice Paddy hat, but the only thing Hardingfele had in the headwear department was one of those giant furry Russian things, and Rich nixed that look. Rockstar Tailor was the cinematographer, since Mr. Hardingfele refused to have anything to do with this nonsense and sat inside playing jazz guitar. (Which made for a lovely soundtrack.)

None of us has been to film school, so we made a lot of novice mistakes, like not warning the neighbors. The absolute funniest moment was when Hardingfele's neighbor Tree Killer leaned over the fence and kept hollering, "What's going on?" Hardingfele said "Nothing, don't worry about it," but that didn't satisfy her. Finally we said, "We're making a movie!" which seemed to puzzle her, but at least it shut her up. Rockstar Tailor got all that on film, thankfully. Eventually Mr. Hardingfele's curiosity got the best of him, so he came out and did some filming too. Then we went inside, took off the disposable hazmat suits, bright purple gloves, and hardcore face masks with actual filters on them, and we watched the fruits of our labor.

It was actually pretty entertaining. First you see three abominable snowmen or something, and the shortest, chestiest one gives a rousing speech that ends with, "And no stupid chances! Got that?" as it points a fully-loaded water gun at the other two. Then the three yeti run off in different directions while the camera follows none of them. In fact, we had a bit of an issue with the cinematographer being more interested in filming the cats than us. Then Rockstar Tailor wanted to be in the movie herself, so we let her play the person who calls to verify that the chipmunk was indeed at Old Man Digby's barn on the 20th of September. She did a bang-up job except for pronouncing the word alibi "a-LIB-bee," although it was unintentionally hilarious when she authoritatively barked, "Get me the phone!"... as she was holding it in her hand. We even had props, like my squirt gun and Rich's filter/gauge thingy that doubled as the Chipmunk Detector and the Translator. (When Hardingfele asked, "Why do you happen to have one of those in your car?" he said, "Because I'm a nerd!") Unfortunately, I was the only one who had most of the lines memorized, having the distinct advantage of having written the script, so Rich forgot his line as "Translator" and said Vinny the Cat claimed he was at a party the night before, to which I, the "Interrogator," replied, "That's funny, I thought he was supposed to say, 'I'd know the rodent anywhere! He had a stripe down his back!'" We also interviewed a little plushy chipmunk which Hardingfele fortuitously had around the house. (I don't believe it was an ePlush.)

The movie is not available for viewing yet, since Rich has to edit it, and he is currently busy moving into his new house or some such lame excuse. No animals were harmed during the making of our movie (A Concerted Effort: Three Scenarii), but Vinny the Cat was temporarily inconvenienced when we interrogated him, and the stuffed chipmunk was attacked at one point by Buddy the Cat. (Unfortunately, that was not captured on film.) And so far as I know, none of us contracted rabies. Also, we have not filmed Scenario #1 yet, so it will be awhile before it is posted here on my blog. Just another thing to look forward to.

Famous Hat