Singin' the Bread Machine Blues

Oh, I got me a bread machine, and it makes some real fine bread,
Said I got me a bread machine, and it sure makes some real fine bread,
It will bake day or night, even while I'm in bed.

Sometimes my bread is weird, but that's my own fault.
I said sometimes my bread is weird, but that's all my own stupid fault,
Because I'm the one who puts in the flour and water and salt.

One day I was sick, too sick to go buy food.
You know I was so sick, too sick to go buy food,
And I was almost out, so things weren't looking good.

I made me some bread, but my flour was not enough.
Yeah I made me some bread, but my flour was just not enough
So I used masa tortilla flour because it's similar stuff.

My bread didn't rise, no it didn't rise at all.
I said that half-masa bread didn't rise, it didn't rise at all
But it tasted just like corn bread and was just about as tall.

Once my bread wasn't rising because I forgot the yeast,
Yeah, once my bread didn't rise because I went and forgot the yeast
So I added some and started over, and it wasn't affected in the least.

The other day my bread came out all crumbly and dry,
That's right, the other day my bread turned out all crumbly and dry
So I sat myself down and asked myself why.

Maybe not enough water, so I poured in a whole bunch.
Yeah, not enough water, so I went and poured in a whole bunch
Because I couldn't eat a pile of crumbs for lunch.

I put in more yeast and stirred the whole mess around.
Said I put in more yeast and stirred the whole mess around
Then I started over again and guess what I found?

That twice-baked bread came out as pretty as could be,
Can you believe that twice-baked bread came out pretty as could be?
It was moist and yeasty but that's just fine with me!

Yesterday someone asked me, "What kind of bread is that?"
You know just yesterday someone asked, "What kind of bread is that?"
I said, "It's stupidity bread, and that's a fact!"

My bread machine loves me, it fixes all my mistakes,
Said that machine truly loves me, it fixes all my mistakes,
And I always enjoy the bread that it bakes.

Famous Hat