They say it is safer to take public transit than to drive your personal vehicle, but I do not know who “they” are, and I strongly suspect they drive to work. I say this because of three recent bus incidents I experienced that caused me to be late or miss something, but they were so crazy that they sound like made-up excuses. Feel free to use them if you need them, because they really did happen to me.
Back when I was recovering from labyrinthitis, the virus that attacks your inner ear and makes you dizzy, I still had episodes of dizziness from turning my head too suddenly. One evening I was standing on a very crowded bus, almost to the yellow line you have to stand behind, and I had to lean back to see the clock. Just then the bus turned a corner, and I was hit with such a wave of vertigo that I nearly blacked out. I sagged against the side of the bus and managed to stay upright until the bus finally got to my stop, then I staggered home and collapsed on the couch. And that is why I missed choir practice that night.
Just last week I stayed late at work to blog about my coworker/evil overlord FOX, since I don’t have internet access at home, but I left myself plenty of time to get home before choir practice. Keep in mind that I had donated blood not two hours earlier. The bus smelled like the exhaust was getting stuck inside of it, and I couldn’t stand it anymore, got off that bus, and hopped on the one right after it. That one dropped me off half a mile from home, so I walked quickly in order to get to choir practice on time. I had a blinding headache, and suddenly I felt shaky and lightheaded, so I barely made it home. And that is why I missed choir practice that night. (Kathbert says she isn't surprised that carbon monoxide would affect me more after a blood donation, but considering the reason I stayed late at work, she says this is actually karma monoxide.)
This morning the bus driver was trying to make a turn, and of course the vehicle he was driving has a very wide turning radius, and construction had narrowed the roadway. Some guy in a car had pulled too far forward into the intersection before the light changed, so the bus could not get by him. They glared at each other in a hostile impasse until the guy in the car finally gave in and backed up far enough for the bus to pass… and that’s why I was late to work today.
Feel free to use any of these the next time you are late or don’t want to go somewhere. They are 100% true but sound so out there that someone might as well get to use them dishonestly.
Famous Hat
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2 comments:
Wow I would say that most of my negative traffic issues have been in cars. Now some bus passengers are another matter
Buses must just hate me. Delivery vans, however, think I am da bomb.
WV: ovifiro - when your female parts combust?
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