Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Not to Brag, But....

...I have done the following:

  • Smuggled a live fish both ways across the border between the US and Canada
  • Won a cup of gelato in New Orleans for knowing a quote was by Edna St. Vincent Millay
  • Got thrown (literally!) out of a bar in Olympia, Greece
  • Watched a movie in an apartment that I found out later was being used as a secret Basque terrorist hideout
  • Made a cake that looked like a Russian Orthodox church
  • Got an F in Advanced Placement English but aced the test and got six credits of college English
  • Taught my rabbits to jump through a hoop
  • Written a blog post about all my amazing accomplishments
  • Ground up a shot glass in my disposal
  • Written a story in which all characters and places were hymn tune names
  • Walked barefoot into a McDonald’s in Cozumel and got served without a complaint
  • Performed with a band called Alfalfa and Omega which I had never practiced with before
  • Eaten maggots by accident on several occasions… and they do not taste good
  • Was waved at personally by Pope John Paul II
  • Ridden a tandem bicycle through a rainstorm with Richard Bonomo
  • Written a novel that Hardinfele said was so weird she couldn’t put it down
  • Appeared in five (count 'em, FIVE) videos while playing the mandolin
  • Had TWO poems set to music and performed by my OTHER choir
  • Gotten stuck on a roof in Rouen with Ethel and had to slide down a lightpole
  • Been told at different times that I have hyperkinesias, minimal brain dysfunction, schizoid disorder of childhood, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, high-functioning autism, and Asperger’s Syndrome, but I think those are maybe all the same thing
  • Had a Canada goose once say “Hello” to me as clearly as any parrot
  • Immediately came up with a sentence that fit neither “their” nor “there” when Sister Mary Pat was trying to teach us the difference in second grade, forcing her to sigh and write “they’re” on the board
  • Taken a cruise on the Mexican Riviera!

I know, you are soooo jealous.

Famous Hat

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